Dear Rabbi,
I feel like a hypocrite living a double life. On weekends, Iâm in shul, I do Shabbos, Iâm connected to the Torah-observant community, trying to do the right thing. But during the week, my friends and family arenât involved at all, and I fit right in with them too. I feel like I have two faces, and I donât fully belong in either world. Why am I stuck in the middle?
Answer
Youâre not stuck in the middle. Youâre strategically placed, exactly where youâre needed.
We assume that being in between means weâre confused or not fully committed. We think we have to be either here or there, in or out, but not both.
But sometimes thatâs exactly where youâre meant to be. Because youâre a bridge.
A bridge, by definition, stands on both sides. A bit here, a bit there. If it only stood on one side, it wouldnât be a bridge. A bridge is a connector. And that is your role.
Every one of us is living a double life. On the one hand, we have a soulâpure, elevated, a little piece of heaven within us. On the other hand, we have a bodyâhungry, tired, and easily distracted. That tension is not accidental. Itâs where life happens. Gâd placed something infinite into something finite so the two worlds would meet, so the spiritual wouldnât stay abstract and the physical wouldnât stay empty.
Thatâs why youâre here: to be the bridge.
Your situation reflects that role. You understand both worlds, you speak both languages, and that gives you the rare ability to connect the two. When you share your Jewish journey with those who havenât yet begun theirs, it carries more weight. When you live Jewishly in a world that isnât used to it, you prove that anyone can do it.
A bridge doesnât go one way. You can remind those on the inside that Judaism isnât their exclusive gift, it belongs to us all. And you can help those on the outside feel that Judaism isnât foreign, itâs theirs. You donât have to choose a side, you just have to help people cross.
Yes, itâs uncomfortable. Bridges carry weight. They hold tension. They stand where two sides wouldnât meet without them. You may feel like stepping away from that tension, but that tension is your strength. Embrace it.
Donât try to fix everything at once. Start small. Invite one person, start one conversation, bring one moment of meaning into an ordinary day. The Sydney Harbour Bridge wasnât built in one day.
You donât have two faces. You have one role: to take the light of the soul and bring it into everyday life, and to help people who feel distant come a little closer.
Donât pick a side. Be the bridge.




Hello. I am a Convert (I actually prefer that moniker to "Jew by Choice"). I married a Catholic man. We knew that we would not be able to have children from the very beginning, so that was never an issue. I am very comfortable with being Jewish with my husband. However, my other family is not very accepting of my faith. While I am with them, I don't feel as though I am able to be the person that I really am. When I am in my (Conservative) Schul, everyone is wonderful and accepts me. However, I still feel like a bit of an outsider, like I just don't and never will belong. After reading this, I am comforted. I am even forwarding it to my Rabbi. I have told my husband and my closest friends about it. Thank you very much!!!